Feelings Need Expression

Maxine says:
“If you need a shoulder to cry on, pull off to the side of the road.”

Sunday night, husband off playing table tennis, too late to call sane people in Omaha, exhausted and anxious, I called a dear friend for that “shoulder to cry on.” I know her well enough to understand she wanted to “bolster me up.” I also know she has counseled hundreds of people and spent a lot of time helping me stay on the right track in my lifetime. She’s a wise woman, and sometimes doesn’t understand me. She said rather loudly, “Hey, it’s a procedure for crying out loud. Lots of women have procedures. I know dozens who have faced tumors and lumps and lived through it. One woman had a huge tumor removed from her ovaries and it was benign.”

I shut up. After a moment of silence friend said, “You still there?”

“Yes. I’m here.” I took a deep breath, swallowed feelings, wiped at the tears that threatened and said, “Tell me about your week.” And for twenty minutes I listened. Then she said, “So is this lump the size of a walnut or what?”

“Husband saw the surgeon with me Thursday. She put her fingertips and thumbs together…..more like the size of a baseball.”

“Really. Well what….”
Of course I didn’t know the “Well what”. Funny how when we are so emotionally involved with the unknowns, our feelings need expression. This incident is one more reminder of how much I need to put on listening ears and allow others to speak, whether I can fix it or not.

This I know, this dear friend, like many others is praying for me. The prayers are getting me through each day, even when I don't know what the future holds, I can count on the fact that God knows the outcome.