Intimate Issues by Dillow and Pintus

Authors Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus created more than conversations, woman to woman, in their book Intimate Issues: 21 Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex. This is not a clinical book and the authors say, “We are not sex therapists, psychologists, or sociologists.”

When you read the book you have a sense Dillow and Pintus are women like you and me, married to men like our husbands. Men desire an intimate relationship with their wives. The authors give clear direction and examples of how to develop a more desirable togetherness in a marriage setting. They also address issues of how to find forgiveness when a spouse is unfaithful, whether with another person or pornography; how to accept yourself when your body is aging and still allow your mate the pleasure of your body, lumpy or not; how to renew the love you felt for your spouse on your wedding day, to build a bridge into his world when everyday life demands all of your energy.

Intimate Issues is a book backed up with Scripture and many other authors and clinical studies. A great book for the pastor’s library, or to give as a tenth anniversary gift—something to rebuild the fire when the romance has cooled.

A woman asked, “If ‘this’ (her sexual temptation) is such a common problem, why isn’t anyone talking about it?” Dillow and Pintus answered, “People do talk about it—after the fact.”

The good news is, Intimate Issues is a book with answers—a much needed book for today’s women.

CONFIDENCE and . . .

“We need confidence in the Lord, not ourselves,” Joyce Meyer said on her early morning broadcast. I listened to her, wrote down that phrase and drove to work.

Later that morning a friend shared her Christmas tradition with me. I wrote a “as told to” story. Before submitting the story, I sent it back to the friend for her approval. She didn't email or caller. In the evening I called her home.

“Is it all right if she just emails you her response?” Her husband asked.

Talk about self-focused. I chewed nails in the wait. I felt certain she hated the article and didn't know how to tell me. All evening I fussed and stewed.

Fortunately, I was home alone and too tired to call anyone and whine. After I ate a sandwich and stuffed my face with Fritos, I did the self-talk thing. “Silly girl. Even if she hates it, so what?”

Then I prayed. “Father, help me to have confidence in you. You called me to write—either this story or another story."

The following day I received the email from my friend—“I loved the article just like it is. I hope you can use the story to inspire another family to create a Christmas tradition.”

So why didn’t she tell me that last night? Too busy with family or stressed from the day? Her reason didn't matter, my response did.

Once again I talked to the Lord. "Was this a test Lord? Well, lets see. What is my grade? A—I prayed first. (Nope.) B—trusted in the Lord and not self. (Nope.) C—stuffed my face but didn’t fuss too long. (yeah, well.) D—finally did all three in backwards order. (Yep.) F . . . "

So I received a “D,” at least I didn’t flunk. Did you catch the full impact of the lesson? Every interview will not have a positive outcome, no matter how well you write. I’m fortunate my interviewee liked the way I wrote her story. It isn't published yet, but maybe soon.

Moral of the story: Do your best and move on.

REJECTION

Today's message in red and green isn't reminiscient of Christmas, rather to spur your thinking. Audrey Hebbert's book gained the title Green Light Red Light from the simple idea: Red light means no. Green light means yes.

Sometimes when we receive a rection we become discouraged. Well hey, the next time you feel like quitting due to failure, read this:

Basketball superstar, MICHAEL JORDAN, was cut from his high school basketball team.


In 1889, RUDYARD KIPLING received the following rejection letter from the San Francisco Examiner "I'm sorry, Mr. Kipling, but you just don't know how to use the English Language."


The parents of famous opera singer ENRICO CARUSO wanted him to be an engineer, because his teacher said he had no voice and couldn't sing.


In 1944, Emmeline Snively, director of the Blue Book Modeling Agency, told modeling hopeful Norma Jean Baker (aka. MARILYN MONROE), "You'd better learn secretarial work or else get married."


While turning down the British rock group called the BEATLES, one executive of Decca Recording Company said, "We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on their way out."


In 1954, Jimmy Denny, manager of the Grande Ole Opry, fired ELVIS PRESELY after one performance. He told Presley, "You ain't goin' nowhere…son. You ought to go back to drivin' a truck."


BABE RUTH struck out 1330 times, but he also hit 714 home runs.

English novelist JOHN CREASEY got 753 rejection letters before he published 564 books.

Nuff said. Red lights happen, but like those hopefuls above, stop, take a deep breath and move forward. Set a goal for the new year and make it happen. Create a 2009 motto and hang it where you can see it easily.

My 2008 motto:

YOU CANNOT SELL WHAT YOU DON’T SUBMIT

My motto for 2009: Take time to breathe. Fully live each moment.

Remember, if your manuscript doesn’t publish now, it may in the future.

Pack Rats Zilch Writer's Block

Last year at this time, my cancer survivor husband (yes, he suffered rare cancer—Pseudomyxoma Peritonei PMP), helped me move my office from a dinky laundry area to an upstairs bedroom. The move proved several things to me:

I can store more stuff in small spaces than most.

I never throw out precious prized possessions. (found cards from our wedding; daughters notes from before she married—twenty-seven years ago; drawings from granddaughters; a promise from husband to stay with me forever and always—written on a napkin fifteen years ago, and an insurance policy I didn’t know I owned. The list goes on.)

Writers are pack rats with just cause. We need this material for the someday article, novel or possible big sale.

Freelancer should wait four years between moves. It’s dangerous. I cannot believe the dirt I found under my desk, and I thought myself relatively clean individual.

If I moved every year, I know I’d downsize more. This is too much work.

Are you experiencing writer’s block? Get healthy, wealthy and wise. Move your office. You’ll jog the fog, smell better, and release any writer’s block that might have accumualated.

HOUSE OF DARK SHADOWS

Robert Liparulo’s book, House of Dark Shadows, a hard back book with a photo to spook a mystery reader, is a great YA fantasy. Some would say more sci-fi than mystery, and yet the ominous sense of intrigue is a page turner.

There are readers that skip over the prologue, however, Liparulo’s tantalizing tale begins from the first page and the prologue’s last line is a definite page turner: “The door closed, separating her from her family forever.”

To move from that phrase to the tale of an ordinary relocation of a family, could be a letdown. Not so, Liparulo allows the reader to relax before stirring the imagination with “Big Foot” and a haunted house.

There are good qualities to this book: Pre-teen to YA will enjoy the story from the move through the haunted house; Liparulo uses all the senses to portray the scenes—and he succeeds in scaring the reader at times; the author gives a definite sense this is a decent family, they respect each other and work together; although not overly religious, good moral values are portrayed and church is mentioned. I liked the idea of a reader’s guide, also.

I realize the author and publisher set the reader up to buy book two, but in this case I felt cheated. If I were buying the book, I’d want more resolution. I still enjoyed the read from cover to cover.

Kat the reader